Artist's Rendition
Date of Birth: March 15, 44 B.C.
Gender: Classified
Race: Classified
Biography: Rocky started his life thousands of years ago, as more of an idea than a human being, until his actual birth sometime in the mid-1980s. At 6' 8' and 260 pounds, Rocky was the most extraordinary linebacker to ever be unleashed on a football field. However, he declined numerous scholarship offers from colleges such as USC, Michigan, and Texas so that he could join the West Appalachian League, an area in which he desired to do missionary work. Three years later, he was drafted by the Washington Redskins with the 35th overall pick of the 2006 NFL draft. On August 13, 2006, he started a preseason game against the Cincinnati Bengals. Unfortunately, on the fist play, Ronnie Ghent ran a crossing pattern, colliding with Rocky on his blind side. The subsequent injury ended Rocky's career and little is known about his life afterward. He became victim to the world of depression, alcohol, and government-mandated assassinations. It is generally accepted that he was a fourth conspirator to Julius Caesar, the second shooter in Kennedy's death, and the abductor of Charles Lindbergh's son - although, opponents to these theories have argued that Rocky would not have been alive at the time of these events. Rocky's location is currently unknown, but he was last seen in Rio Branco, Brazil.